#but some of us are too traumatised for that lol

[ko-fanatic]

Trans girl Shouto who didn't even realise she was trans until her mid twenties.

She just doesn't self reflect often due to her trauma, and thought that the gross feelings towards her looks and presentation was because of her scar and generally hating her fire side.

Settling down into a more consistent routine, on her own terms, really helped, but she twigs on after some experiments with presentation and pronouns.

Her body dysphoria doesn't disappear completely but using female pronouns and dressing femininely really helps!

[touchlikethesun]

i do think there is something wrong with me because i am realising that my reactions to some of the things that luo binghe did because of his love for shen qingqiu seem to be relatively muted compared to others’. like don’t get me wrong, luo binghe definitely did that like he for sure went there but like at the same time i think he’s so fucking valid and maybe if people just stopped judging the kid for being the teensiest bit obsessed and took the time to understand his hangups then they’d see that too

[tiffanylamps]

[pics, links, and my silliness under the break]

[for caroline: eton's chapel, religious provisions]

info regarding the school with pictures (this is a complete side note: I think once you've* see where joo won lived and understand the people he went to school with [the royal family send their kids to eton], you get a better understanding of why joo won is such a snob. he probably even believes that his own studio flat is somewhat beneath him, considering he went to school with the children of billionaires... and like... we don't know how wealthy the han family (and lee family) is, but they must pretty loaded to send joo won to some of the top schools in england from age 7 to 17**) * i don't mean you you, caroline. i'm more using the figurative you, the "royal" you ** from my understanding, joo won was 7 when he was sent to england and that age is derived from the timeline of the show and by basing it off the korean aging system. meaning, he left korea as a 7-year-old boy and arrived in england as a 6-year-old boy. and he left when he was 16... but was 17 when he came back to korea...???? idk i'm probably wrong also, i'm throwing my joo won choir boy propaganda into the ring:

i can totally see him in the get-up. plus, it just seems so fitting for his personality that he would study the latin songs and become so engrossed with getting his notes perfect. like. perrrrfect. and he would refuse to help the other kids out with their parts, because he's a prick lol i'msemijokingbutnotreallybutlike touring eton college chapel choir goes to korea au when???? (pls know i'm joking... unless 👀. pls ignore me)

here is the choir boys in action to help set the ambiance

sorry to bombard you with all this eton nonsense, i just thought it might help you with your joo won religious trauma headcanon (and i... kinda wanna feed your headcanon for my own selfish reasons lol)

personally, i think a part of the reason why han joo won and lee dong sik are as intense as they are is because they both have some weird religious trauma going on. we know that dong sik is definitely from a christian/catholic background because the show literally opens with his family being christian/catholic/whichever it was, but joo won is. look at that guy. no one talks that much about hell unless you’ve got some deep-rooted catholic or christian trauma. have u ever seen a queer person talk about their relationship with religion. the energy is just different

[santanasaintmendes]

singapore lovin’ had me a blast 

part2! to the cosmic girl records

¡Cosmic Girl Records!

summary: going to Singapore to support your boyfriend, stealing Alex’s girlfriend and beefing with lando, nothing’s changed really 

olliebearman x reader & platonic!grid x reader

fc!: gorgeous girls and couples on pinterest all credits go to rightful owners of the photos used below 

a/n: also the timeline and the whole universe in what these smau’s are based in are very different to irl, ollie’s in f1 already and he drives for ferrari, lewis is still in mercedes because it made more sense kind of? I’ll fill in the gaps as we go lol

disclaimer!: there may be some sensitive jokes that may be hurtful to some people, they are all there just for the humour and to make the story more enjoyable, please don’t come after me 😭

also i’m sorry for the english and french slander against lando and pierre it’s purely for humour😔 please don’t take the comments to heart

a/n: the lovely @yawn-zi gave me the courage to post the second part to the cosmic girl records, i hope you didn’t get in trouble for laughing during portuguese class! and a big thank you to @nichmeddarso who rebloged part1 with all those tags it was greatly appreciated!

here you go, enjoy!

liked by landonorris, olliebearman, georgerussell64, lilymhe, alex_albon and 3,849,383 others

unfortunatelyy/n: next stop, Singapore! btw, the sunset was a paid actor ❤️

tagged olliebearman 

view 2,473,282 comments 

 landonorris: for anyone who asks, it was traumatising sitting next to the two of them on the flight

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: so bitter damn 

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 landonorris: BECAUSE WE MISSED OUR PLANE 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: NOT MY FAULT 

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 landonorris: IT WAS MOST DEFINITELY YOUR FAULT 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: OKAY I’M SORRY I LEFT MY PASSPORT IN THE TAXI BUT STILL 

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 landonorris: mhm, sure 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: “mHm sUrE” 🇬🇧🤓☕

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 landonorris: DIE.

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 user1: NAH SHE DID HIM SO DIRTY 

user7: always count on y/n to keep an aesthetically pleasing instagram page 

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

 olliebearman: you wouldn’t be able to guess how many times she made me retake that first pic 

|

 landonorris: i can 🙄

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 unfortunatelyy/n: BOTH OF YOU SHUSH 

 user2: does she actually have a job or does she just follow ollie around 😐

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 user3: yes she has a job???

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 user4: it's called taking a vacation, google it?

 lilymhe: can’t wait to see you soon bb 🥰

| 

 alex_albon: you have a boyfriend???? me??

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 unfortunatelyy/n: @alex_albon stop being so delusional you sound crazy 

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 alex_albon: @lilymhe are you really going to let her bully me 😰

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 lilymhe: . . .

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 alex_albon: 😦

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 unfortunatelyy/n: the man was too stunned to speak 😱

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 alex_albon: 🖕

 user5: it’s not a y/n insta post without y/n and lily terrorising alex in the comments section 

|

 user6: and y/n and lando bickering like the 5 year olds that they are 

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, georgerussell64, charles_leclerc, olliebearman and 4,489,383 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: some sightseeing and exploring before the weekend with my wifey and . . .  boyfriend?

tagged olliebearman and lilymhe 

view 3,682,838 comments 

 user1: Ollie’s officially the third wheel now 😔

|

 user11: a moment of silence for another fallen soldier 🫡

i

user2: HELP THE FIRST AND SECOND PIC HAVE ME ROLLING ON THE GROUND 

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

 lilymhe: loved exploring with you. . . and your friend Steve!

|

 user3: HELP

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 unfortunatelyy/n: it’s okay! he won’t be a problem after this weekend 😃

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 olliebearman: 😦

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 user4: homie’s traumatised 

 alex_albon: . . . it’s okay really. I’m fine. I’m fine.

| 

 user5: not alex going through all 5 stages of grief 

liked by unfortunatelyy/n 

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 user6: I can’t tell which one he’s up to 

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 user5: . . . neither can i. 

 user7: she’s STUNNING, Ollie better sleep with one eye open tonight 

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 olliebearman: 😰

 user8: ollie on any of y/n’s insta posts after reading the comments: 😮😰😔

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 user10: literally anyone really 😭

 alex_albon: @charles_leclerc @georgerussell64 when does it end 😭 please, i’m a desperate man 

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 georgerussell64: we lied 😔

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charles_leclerc: it never does. 

 user9: where’s lando, it’s not a y/n post without him commenting something absurd 

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 landonorris: i have been summoned. 

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 user9: WHAT DID I DO 😰

 landonorris: oh so now you have a boyfriend AND a wife? 🤨

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 unfortunatelyy/n: i thought i could finally post something without you attacking me in my comments section. I WAS WRONG. 

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 landonorris: 🤷‍♂️

liked by olliebearman, landonorris, lilymhe, georgerussell64, charles_leclerc and 5,728,282 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: as long as i'm with you, I've got a smile on my face 

tagged olliebearman 

view 4,282,992 comments 

olliebearman: ❤️

liked by unfortunatelyy/n 

user3: couple goals fr 

 user5: THE FIRST PIC I CAN’T DECIDE WHO DO WE THINK WON GUYS 

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 user6: y/n, duh. 

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 olliebearman: unfortunately, that is correct 😔

 unfortunatelyy/n: that’s me flipping off lando in the distance in the second pic by the way 

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 landonorris: i should be getting paid for taking all these yucky photos of you guys and this is how you repay me?

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 unfortunatelyy/n: guys what do we think? Has being single finally hit him?

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 landonorris: that’s it, i’ve had enough, i’m releasing THE video 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: OH YOU WOULDN’T DARE

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 landonorris: oh yes I would, watch me. 

 user1: HELP WHAT ARE THE CHILDREN TALKING ABOUT 

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 user9: IDK BUT I CAN’T TELL IF THEY’RE JOKING OR NOT 

user10: this turned into a war zone so quickly 

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, carlossainz55, pierregasly, danielricciardo and 11,749,383 others

unfortunatelyy/n: and due to personal reasons, a human by the name of Lando Norris shan't be getting mentioned in any future posts, so enjoy ✨

tagged landonorris 

view 12,483,372 comments 

user1: SHE DID NOT HOLD BACK

user2: he’s such an icon fr 

user3: he’s never beating the babygirl allegations after this i'm afraid 😔

user4: “thank you y/n” they all said in unison 

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

 landonorris: I SAID I WAS SORRY LIKE 50 TIMES WHAT MORE DO U WANT 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: i only accept apologies in cash 

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 landonorris: well damn no apology for you then 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: YOU’RE LITERALLY A MILLIONAIRE??? |

 landonorris: and your point?

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 unfortunatelyy/n: i hope you accidentally get a fish burger next time you go for takeout 

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 user10: oop she really went there 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: and i hope you realise after it’s too late 

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 landonorris: GASP. HOW DARE YOU

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 unfortunatelyy/n: 😃

 carlossainz55: *saves photos to camera roll 

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 landonorris: wow. 

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 carlossainz55: for memories, you know?

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 landonorris: “fOr mEmOriEs yOu kNoW?” SHUT UP YOU MUPPET, YOU’RE REALLY NO HELP YOU KNOW

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 carlossainz55: so aggressive geez 

user5: lando’s fighting for his life in the comments section

 pierregasly: lando in the third pic: UWU

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 landonorris: I- SHUT UP YOU FRENCH HO HO HO BAGUETTE BABY MAN

| 

 user8: absolutely violated 

unfortunatelyy/n: i’ve sworn to secrecy but since SOMEONE CAN’T KEEP A SECRET, i guess I can’t too. The second pic is me when i forced lando to cook fish for me, hence the disgusted face. it’s safe to say he did not talk to me for 6 months straight after 

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 user6: Y/N, professional exposer 

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 landonorris: HOW COULD YOU, YOU PINKY SWEARED I HATE YOU

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 carlossainz55: @unfortunatelyy/n: teach me your ways 🙏

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 unfortunatelyy/n: a magician never reveals their secrets, but i’m no magician so sure 

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 user 7: HELP STOP EXPOSING LANDO 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: never 😤

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 landonorris: 😭

liked by olliebearman, kimi.antonelli, charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc and 7,483,832 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: always and forever proud of you 🐻

tagged olliebearman 

view 6,382,392 comments 

 olliebearman: oh so that’s why you wanted that photo ☹️

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: sorry love! ❤️

user1: as i clicked into the notification, i thought “at last, a normal sensible post from y/n” i have never been more wrong, WHAT IS THAT SECOND PHOTO Y/N

liked by unfortunatelyy/n 

user2: a relationship like theirs, it's a need not a want 

user3: from spilling pasta on her to becoming her man, talk about upgrades 😌

 kimi.antonelli: @unfortunatelyy/n what about the photo I sent for your post

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 olliebearman: WHAT PHOTO 

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 kimi.antonelli: . . . there’s no photo i have no idea what you’re talking about there’s no photo ahaha

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 arthur_leclerc: @unfortunatelyy/n what about MY photo of Ollie

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 dinobeganovic_: @unfortunatelyy/n and mine?

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 maya_weug: @unfortunatelyy/n mine?

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 olliebearman: Y/N ANSWER THEM WHAT PHOTOS 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: . . . there’s no photos are you crazy ahahah

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 user4: the gaslighting goes hard 😭

a/n: thank you everyone for the love that part 1 got! I really appreciated all the likes and reblogs that the post got, i hope you enjoyed part 2 to the cosmic girl records universe. This part was a bit shorter than the first and I have 3 more parts that i’m working on that should be out soon. Thank you and bye for now! 🫶🏻🫶🏻

also should i make a tag list for the series? 🤔

[bunni-v1]

Okay so the traumatised!reader not forgiving Jamil was absolutely fantastic!

Would it be alright if I requested the same premise but for Riddle after his overblot (he did insult us, attacked us and was the very first to overblot)?

Overblot Trauma: Riddle Edition

TW: Mentions and discussion of PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Childhood abuse, and most things in that vain!; Swearing!; Mostly un-edited, this took too long to write lol

Info: Ace, Deuce, Grim, Trey, Cater, Riddle x Reader (platonic (especially in grim’s case)); gn!reader, unless I managed to fuck up!

🍓Hi. Yippie, new writing, I did it! Anyway, I went for a different approach than Jamil's part simply because... well... Riddle's whole scenario is completely different! Btw, I wanted to make it clear that I ADORE Jamil, and me giving Riddle forgiveness isn't a bias thing! I simply believe that this is how this scenario would go! Love you all, mwah!

Tags: @kitsun369 @bloomstruck @squidsailing @roseinbloom02

Jamil Part

This year was going to be yours, at least it was supposed to be. You were the top of your class, the best in your field of study, and you had nothing but the best opportunities in your grasp. For once in your life, you were exactly where you wanted to be… until you weren’t.

A horse-drawn carriage wasn’t too big of a shocker for you. You knew that some farmers would try to socialize their horses by taking them through town. Maybe a bit odd for where you live, but you could accept it. Until it started coming straight at you, whinnying as it clomped toward you at Mach speeds. 

You tried to outrun it, you really did. You ran as fast as your legs could carry you, but this horse was determined to ruin your life. And, oh god, did it. 

When you woke up, it was dark and you could hear voices muttering outside your… box? You were convinced you had died, and this was your judgment day in the afterlife. 

But no, it couldn’t be that simple, of course not. Instead, it was inter-dimensional travel, and you were now stuck in a Hogwarts-esque world with no way back home. You didn’t have any ruby red slippers to click you back home, not Toto to keep you comfortable. No, you got stuck with Grim who was anything but a comfort. 

You wouldn’t let it ruin your perfect year, though.

You’d decided to make the most of your shitty situation. You cleaned up your awful dorm, befriended the little troublemaking cat, and even fitted your janitorial uniform so that it was more comfortable to wear. 

Then… you meet Ace, and everything spirals. Again.

Statues caught on fire, chandeliers were broken, giant sludge monsters were fought, and unfair punishments were dished out upon you. That was fine! You could handle that! The monster in the mine was scary, but whatever, magic was going to be scary to you regardless. You could do this! You were going to handle everything life threw at you!

What you couldn’t handle, however, was Ace and Deuce’s tyrannical Housewarden: Riddle Rosehearts.

He was a selfish, entitled crybaby who had a stick shoved so far up his ass you wondered how he could walk without limping. All of his dorm members seemed terrified of him — except Ace, who also had the entitlement stick shoved up his ass, but this isn’t about him.

Riddle caused more than a handful of issues for you by kicking Ace and Deuce out — over a tart. Well, in Ace’s case, it was a tart. It was ridiculous, and it was more trouble than it was worth for you. More mouths to feed, more whining to hear, you couldn’t put up with it.

So you rush Ace and Deuce back to the dorm to find a way to apologize and end up meeting their far more responsible upperclassmen, Trey and Cater. The two of them were far more sympathetic to your position than Ace and Deuce ever were. You wished you’d managed to attract them instead of your bumbling idiots.

Still, they help you, and things are looking up for the idiot quartet… until they aren’t. 

The tarts that Ace and Deuce worked so tirelessly on were mouthwateringly delicious. Marron tarts with extra chestnuts! If they weren’t for Riddle, you would’ve torn into those things!

Things were looking good, especially when Riddle seemed more than pleased to accept Ace’s forgiveness gift…

Then, Riddle, stick somehow shoved even further up his ass than before, blows a gasket because of some stupid arbitrary rule. Something about no tarts on the billionth day of the month… ugh. So stupid.

He tore into Ace, he tore into Deuce, he tore into you. He just kept going and going on and on like a little child. You can’t even blame Ace for punching him, you were about to do it yourself if he hadn’t.

But.. something was wrong. You expected Riddle to just scream louder, but this time he didn’t. He was quiet, and you could see that his face was twisted up in a mix of anger and pain.

The first thing you noticed was the smell. It was thick and suffocating, crawling down your throat like it wanted to rip your lungs out. Only when you saw the black sludge leaking from Riddle did you realize it was ink invading your senses?

You watched with your mouth agape, body trembling, as his body morphed in front of your eyes. The clean, well-presented Riddle you knew changed into a disheveled beast who could hardly be described as human.

He looked dead, with skin so sickeningly pale, and his body moving in a way that it really shouldn’t be able to.

He kept moving, and he kept talking and screaming, so he wasn’t — but no one's skin should be that grey. No one should be leaking ink in the first place. 

The battle against him was a blur, you were simply running on instinct the whole time. Dodging, running, and throwing whatever you could to keep yourself safe. Still, you ended up with quite a few new scars and spent a sizable amount of time in the nurse's office.

Sure you got studentship for yourself and Grim, and yeah you helped Riddle overcome his trauma. You felt for him, you did. He was a good person at heart, and you wanted him to better himself and heal from the scars his mother left. 

But what about you? What were you supposed to do now that you’ve been through that? What about your scars? What about the scars he gave everyone else?

Surely you couldn’t be expected to pretend that everything was fine?

Ace and Deuce

-Ace and Deuce hadn’t seen you in a good few days since the last tea party Heartslabyul held. -You being reclusive wasn’t much of a shocker, you spent a lot of time alone, to begin with, but disappearing for this long…? 

-Now, it’s not like the three of you were absolute best friends at this point, but you had become pretty close up until now. 

-Plus you’ve survived a lot of very scary experiences together… surely that meant something?

-It meant something to them.

-Still, you’d practically ghosted them and it was out of character for what they knew of you.

-Even when they were annoying the shit out of you, you still gave them a place to stay and helped them take care of themselves. You were kindhearted.

-Ghosting your (tentative) friends wasn’t exactly a good sign.

-So, them being themselves, they decide to come to pay you a visit at Ramshackle and wrangle some answers out of you.

-They were not expecting you to answer with tear tracks down your face and eye bags so dark they almost looked black.

-Ramshackle wasn’t any better either. 

-You normally kept it so neat and tidy, but it was messy with clothes and dirty dishes scattered about. 

-It was so weird to see you in such a state since you were so happy and full of life and determination before this.

-Then again, it did sorta make sense. You’d been through a lot in the past few weeks, expecting perfection wasn’t fair for anyone in your position.

-All of you had been through a lot, Ace and Deuce were just better at putting up with it than you.

-Grim didn’t seem to be much of a help either, clearly lost on how to handle human depression.

-Luckily, Ace and Deuce are willing to help.

-By help, I mean to annoy you, but they’re doing their best!

-Ace definitely pokes and prods at you a lot, and complains that you have to get up and go to class.

-It’s annoying, but you know he’s right. 

-If he does take it too far Deuce is right there to put him back in line and assure you that you can take it at your own pace.

-The two of them are so sweet though, seriously. They help you clean up the place so that it's mostly back to its former glory (as much glory as ramshackle can have, of course).

-They walk you to class together every morning, even if you have ungodly eight ams. (You do hear Ace complaining a lot, though).

-They eat with you to make sure that you’re eating — and if you don’t eat with them, they come to your dorm with a full meal that they picked up for you.

-Most importantly, they keep you distracted from thinking about how horrifying the whole overblot was.

-The two of them need the distraction too, though they won’t admit it to you.

Grim

-Grim watches you go through everything firsthand.

-He lives with you, of course, he’s gonna see the rough stuff.

-He could tell something was off at the tea party, you just didn’t seem as involved as you usually were, but he brushed it off.

-He was more focused on eating as much food as possible.

-When you got back to the dorm, however, is when he noticed something was really wrong.

-Normally you’d take a nice long bubble bath, and the smell of your soaps would fill up the whole of your bedroom, but not today.

-You just fell onto your bed without a word.

-Still, it was a long day! Grim was pooped too, he wouldn’t wanna make up a bath either.

-Then you started to cry. You cried and cried and cried until you fell asleep.

-He didn’t know what to do, he never dealt with a crying human before!

-All he could do was curl up next to you and let you cry into his fur.

-You’d be better tomorrow, he told himself.

-But, nothing changed the day after that, nor the next, nor the next.

-By the third day of you laying around he was getting antsy. Would you ever cheer up, and could he help you at all?

-He’s grateful for Ace and Deuce coming around when you didn’t make it to classes that day.

-They explain to him, vaguely, what human depression is and how he can help more.

-Really, he isn’t able to do more than he’s already been doing, but you don’t need much more from him.

-He’s the perfect companion for you, and you wouldn’t trade him for the world.

Cater

-Cater doesn’t know you, okay.

-He would love to get to know you! You’re quite a treat to be around, and you keep his pesky freshmen in line, so he does like you.

-Again, he doesn’t know you.

-He does, however, notice that at the little celebratory tea party, you are not doing too well.

-What he’s seen of you, you were a spunky bitch who didn’t take shit from anyone.

-But, here, now… you were quiet. You didn’t seem like you were really here with anyone in the room.

-He decided to keep a close eye on you, just in case.

-He noticed your symptoms, he’s lived your symptoms, so of course he’s looking out for you.

-Besides, the overblot scared more than just you — you just had a lot more to be afraid of than them.

-When Ace and Deuce wander back to the dorm complaining about how you skipped your classes for the day, a million alarm bells go ringing in his head.

-“Go check on them.”

“Cater- you were listening?”

“Hush, just go check on them! Now! GO!”

-Cater is not your friend at this point, the two of you are acquaintances at the very most, but he knows that you need someone there for you.

-Please excuse him for assuming, but he doesn’t think Grim would cut it.

-He also talks to Trey and Riddle about it all too.

-He knows that you and Trey are closer than he is with you and that he’s more likely to be of help than Cater is.

-Tells Trey to make you sweets that Ace and Deuce can give to you. Also give him advice on what to say in case you seek him out — especially since he’s closer to Riddle, you’re more likely to go to him with your worries.

-However, Cater does not expect you to seek him out.

-He was so busy working overtime behind the scenes keeping everyone together that he didn’t even think that he was part of the equation.

-You sought him out simply because he wasn’t Trey or Riddle.

-Trey would be more sympathetic to Riddle and Riddle was the core of the issue. But your reliable Senpai Cater? Surely he’d be more logical about this.

-You figured that he had something to do with everything since Ace and Deuce don’t seem emotionally intelligent enough to help you with something as sensitive as trauma.

-First you really just want to thank him for his help, but as you talk to him both of you just break.

-You, because you hadn’t really been able to talk about what you’ve been through. Cater, because he put everything on his shoulders as if it was up to him to fix it all.

-It’s therapeutic, to just cry with someone over the horrible things that you’ve been through together.

-You sort of become each other's rock when it comes to recovery.

Trey

-Trey is the backbone of Heartslabyul.

-I know we give him shit for being boring and normal, but he’s the reason anything keeps functioning around his dorm.

-He needs to be normal, because if he can’t keep a level head, who will?

-Sevens, he’s having a hard time now though.

-Riddle is going through his own issues, coping with the fact that he confronted his traumas head-on and hurt so many people doing it.

-Ace and Deuce were the core of the issue, and he could tell that neither of them was ready to deal with whatever feelings they’d been feeling.

-He can’t even lean on Cater like he normally does, because Cater is running around like a madman trying to ignore his own trauma.

-So… It’s just Trey, and he’s having a hard time figuring this shit out because he needs time to cope.

-He doesn’t get the chance to, though, because he has to be there for Riddle more than anyone.

-It’s not like he doesn’t want to be there for him, they’re best friends, but Sevens Trey is exhausted trying to get things back to where they were.

-You don’t even cross his mind in the chaos until Cater asks him to make you those marron tarts you seemed to love so much.

-You must be going through it.

-As he bakes them up for you (making some extras for his dormmates), he thinks about how hard this must’ve been on you.

-You’re not even from here. You were just trying to help out, and you nearly lost your life because his best friend couldn’t control his temper.

-You didn’t deserve that. No one did.

-He was supposed to give the tarts to Ace and Deuce, but after his thinking, he figured it was better he went to see how you were doing himself.

-The older brother in him couldn’t stop the worry from taking over now that you were on his mind.

-He knew that Ace and Deuce got you going back to your classes, and you weren’t so scared that you never came to Heartslabyul, but he wanted to make sure.

-When you open the door you look tired, but light up at the sight of the treats in his hands.

-While you and Grim are chowing down on the snacks he made, you two talk.

-Trey finally, finally, gets to talk about how he’s been feeling — because you are so sweet and so kind that you want to hear how he’s been.

-He gets to tell you how tired he is, how he feels as though he can’t allow himself a moment to deal with his own thoughts, how worried he is about everyone. How angry he was at Riddle, and how happy he was that Riddle was changing.

-It’s cathartic to get it all out, but he feels guilty for dumping it all on you.

-He was here to check on you, not pour his heart out.

-But, you tell him that you wanted him to talk to you about it. Ace and Deuce pretend like it never even happened, so to hear someone else be just as angry about it as you felt good.

-The two of you spend a lot of time together that night — Grim is there too, but this isn’t about him — and both of you feel like a weight is lifted off your shoulders afterward.

-Both of you make plans to bake something together later that week.

Riddle

-Riddle is going through it, okay.

-Not only is he dealing with the physical ramifications of his body twisting around in ways that it really shouldn’t, and the long-term lung issues he’s going to have thanks to all the ink.

-He’s also dealing with the fact that he acknowledged how awful his mother — whom he’d idolized — truly was. 

-How awful he was because of her, and how many people he hurt because he wouldn’t face the music soon enough.

-Still his life didn’t stop. He still had to ensure that he was fulfilling his duties as a houswarden, and he also had to continue tutoring and running the equestrian club and his own coursework.

-His way of coping with his issues is that he works himself to death.

-Sure, he does take time to tell Trey how he’s feeling, and he has spent many sleepless nights in his room crying, but he’d rather be working than doing that.

-So he does. He works and he works and he uses his work as a punishment for himself because he does not deserve a break after what he did.

-He has to make up for the horrible things he’s done to people who simply did not deserve it.

-He’s so busy working that he forgets to make it up to the person that matters most.

-You and Riddle aren’t exactly avoiding each other, but you certainly aren’t seeking each other out.

-You know that Riddle was going through a lot and you’ve already forgiven him at this point, but you haven’t found the strength to seek him out yet.

-The both of you just happen to bump into each other in the kitchen of Heartslabyul. (Courtesy of Trey and Cater!)

-You were waiting on Trey (he promised he would make some sweets with you today), and Riddle walked in (he was also promised sweets).

-It was… awkward, to say the least.

-What do you say to the guy who traumatized and nearly killed you and your friends?

-What do you say to the person who you nearly killed?

-Well…

-“I’m sorry,” Riddle finally said, snuffing out the awkward silence, “I allowed myself to become so angry, and I hurt and scared not only you but myself. I don’t know how anyone could ever forgive me, but I am truly sorry.”

You stayed quiet, mulling over his words. You knew he was sorry, from the way he’d looked at you since his blot. You could only begin to imagine what he was dealing with in his head this whole time. How harsh he must’ve been on himself since the incident — and isn’t that what started this whole thing in the first place? His unnecessary harshness? He shouldn’t be so hard on anyone, especially not himself.

So, you being you — forgiving and understanding — you sigh and place a hand on his arm. He looked at you, shocked at your gentleness.

“It’s alright, Riddle. Sure, you really scared the shit out of me, and yeah I’m still kind of scared of you, but I know you’re a good guy. It’s not your fault that you’ve been through such awful things.”

-You made him cry.

-Good tears though! Happy tears! It’s the first time he felt seen in a very long time, and he promises you that he’s going to change for the better.

-To his credit, he does start to make those changes, and he does so very quickly.

-He begins to be more open with his friends, and he’s more relaxed about the very stupid rules that he used to enforce.

-He goes out of his way to talk to you specifically at this time too. He offers to become your tutor (which you desperately need, since Crewel is well… cruel.), and you two grow surprisingly close!

-You bond over how much stress Ace and Deuce cause you, and Riddle learns how to socialize like a normal person from you.

-(You surprise him with just how popular you are, despite being essentially bottom of the barrel at NRC. He has much to learn!)

[storiesfromafan]

MIA - Buck x Reader

A/N: so I am back with part 2 to Rumours. Not sure how I feel about this...but it will have to do haha. I will do a part 3, and that will be it.

Forgive me if any information is wrong, as I had to change a few things around to suit the story. As well as any spelling and grammer mistakes 😅

Tag list: @strayrockette (you asked for angsty, hope I met the requirement...maybe lol)

October 8th 1943 was a day you wouldn't forget. Starting with waking to this foreboding feeling gnawing at the back of your mind. And with every minute of the passing morning your stomach sinking further and further. Something was to happen that day, which usually meant death, injury and despair with a mix of grief.

Earlier that morning the 100th had flown out on a raid. It was like they normally would, no one would have guessed the out come of their return. You had spent the morning doing inventory and getting everything ready for the 100th return. If this raid was like any other, there would be some injured men coming into your medical. The Doctor's were waiting, ready for whatever was to come. While the other nurses prepared for what they would see.

When the transport vehicles rolled out, maned by men who were use to everything traumatising and disturbing. You might see the men when they are wheeled in, but to see them as they are pulled from their plane, you don't think you could stomach that. You had over heard a few men telling other female nurses the gruesome details, every stomach churning missing limb and exposed insides. And you can't forget the blood.

Standing with the other nurses and Doctors, with baited breath, you all waited. Ready for action, to help and save lives. You heard the vehicles come flying down the dirt road, the muffled noise of men talking before the cries of those injured. When the doors burst open and the first few men were brought it, you all sprung into action.

You didn't think, you just acted. Moving to help a man who was covered in blood, you looked him over assessing his wounds. He had a few large, deep cuts but none were in any areas of major arteries. But he did had a broken leg and dislocated arm. The sounds he made was hard to listen too, it pulled at your heartstrings. But you kept on moving, doing your job.

When you were done with him you moved on to the next, and then the next, till all that had came in were seen too. Hours went by, it was late morning when you had started, and it was now evening when you finally stopped. Done with your work. Clothing covered in blood, body drained and exhausted. But you felt satisfied, knowing all men were alive. Yet the night would only tell how the worst would fare.

Stepping out of the medical building, the evening breeze hitting your face. Closing your eyes, you inhaled the fresh air into your lungs, a stark contrast to that of the sterile space you had been in. Rolling your shoulders back, you stretched your arms and hands, enjoying how your body creaked and cracked. Your ears took in the faint sounds of the base. Enjoying the sounds around you, unlike what you had listened to, which had been filled with cries, moans, groans and machines for hours.

If only you had been warned not to open your eyes, you could have lived in ignorant bliss. For as soon as you opened them you were greeted to the sight of one Major Egan. The usual boyish charm and cheeky nature gone, replaced with sadness and anguish. That foreboding and sinking pit in your stomach surfacing after being pushed away while you worked. Today was a day you had dreaded. A day that you prayed to never meet.

“It's B-Buck...” Bucky managed to get out, voice hollow and strained. “H-his plane...it-it went down...”

Hearing those words laced in pain, as Bucky did his best to keep himself together. It was like standing there, telling you, made it finally sink in, how real the situation was. The chances were Buck had gone down with his plane, possibly dead. Or he managed to evacuate and was now in enemy territory, which meant death or becoming a prisoner. No matter what way you thought about it, there was a chance of Buck not returning.

You felt the air in your lungs hinder. Breathing in all aspects getting harder. Your chest tightening with the dread you were feeling. You could feel tears rising in your eyes. Bucky looked up from staring at the ground, and upon seeing your reaction to the news, swiftly moved to grab your arm. He led you to a bench near by before helping you sit, then taking the spot next to you.

Everything seemed to fade away, leaving you with an ache in your chest. You couldn't form any words, yet your mind was running wild with them. So many questions that you wanted to ask. Bucky watched you as you stared off into the distance. He understood what you were going through, processing the terrible news. He had been in the same position as you hours before.

Bucky cleared his throat, trying to dislodge the lump that seemed to be sitting there. “I...I thought you should hear the news from me...” his voice was low, trying to be as calm as he could.

You nodded, still having trouble to speak. But the silence between you too wasn't uncomfortable, for you both understood the other right now. Maybe you both needed the other, to work through this moment. A moment that could have come at any time. Bucky knew that, and you both knew Buck knew it. It was part of their job, knowing at any minute they are up in the air, and then the next they would be coming down. With a slim chance of survival in this war.

With time Bucky spoke to you, telling you to clean up and take it easy. Mentioning how he would be having a drink by the planes, if you wanted to join him. Still you hadn’t spoken, but nodded your heard slowly. With that, you shakily got up from your seat and headed back to your room. It was when you were behind a closed door, back resting against the wood, and sliding down to sit on the floor. That was when you finally let your tears free. You broke down, heartbroken and longing to see Buck, even for just one more fleeting moment.

True to his word, you found Bucky that night on the wing of a plane. You had been in your room for ages trying to stop your tears, and only finally was able to get it under control. Not wanting to be alone, you had decided to seek out Bucky. You made your way up to the base of the plane, looking up at the intoxicated man who sat with his feet hanging over the edge of the wing.

“B-Bucky...” you spoke, voice horse and not sounding like yourself. A result from your crying. “Are you alright up there?”

He swayed a little, his head turning down to look to you. “F-fine...I guess" he sputtered.

“Maybe you should come down...” you said concerned for his well being.

Bucky just nodded his head before slowly and a little unsteadily, getting down. With his feet on the ground, you moved to sit you both in front of the plane. The ground was hard, and a little cool, but you both would be fine. Silence filled the space around you, but both happy to take comfort in each other.

With time Bucky began to speak, reminiscing on moments with Buck. He told you how they met and became friends, what they had both gone through up in the air. How he was like a brother to him. And how they both liked being around you, recalling when they first met you. And what he thought about you, and Buck's reaction to you.

“We both liked having you around, you know?” Bucky questioned. “It was nice to have a dance partner that could take a joke" he laughed.

You smiled softly, for the first time feeling happy hearing his words.

“Buck...Buck liked having someone to talk to that was level headed, like him. He told me how close you both were, and I was happy he had you. And when those rumours made the rounds, he was Hell bent on putting an end to them" he chuckled. “Had me wondering...”

You looked at Bucky in confusion. “Wondering what...?”

“You know" he said tilting his head, when you continued to look at him the way you were he went on. “You know...if you and Buck were – well you know”.

You sat up straight at his insinuation. Bucky thought you and Buck were seeing each other privately, and engaging in inappropriate behaviour. “N-no, not at all" you replied quickly.

“But you do have feelings for him, right?” Bucky asked, looking you in the eye. “He came back after speaking to you, he didn't say it but I could tell something went down between you both, right?”

You averted your eyes from his. Deciding there was no reason to hide it, you nodded your head. Out of all the people on the base, Bucky and Buck were to two you could trust. And it looked liked you only have Bucky left.

“I knew it...I think he cared for you. But with Marge, he was devoted to her...” Bucky thought out loud. “Watching you both, I could see something there...but you're both so good, to do anything to hurt someone...”

You didn't understand what the Major was getting at. Deciding it was time for him to get to bed, you voiced it. “Alright Bucky, I think its time you get some rest”.

You moved to help him up, but Bucky protested, almost having a child like fit. But with a little bit of talking to him, you were able to talk him into it. With his arm over your shoulders, you helped get Bucky back to his room, before leaving him at his door. Reluctantly you headed back to you room. Once in bed you had wanted to sleep, but it was something that you got next to none off. How your sleeping pattern would be from here on out.

The course of the next few weeks seemed to be following a steady path. But, once more, you are struck with bad news. First Buck, now Bucky. His plane going down and with that, the last of your hope for everyone else. You cried and thought of the Major, but no where near as it had been for Buck.

Lost to war were two strong men. Who didn't deserve what they got. No more mischievous and anger inducing moments with Bucky, whom you would gladly have one more dance with, only to have him make you laugh. No more electrifying discussions with Buck, were you would enjoy looking into his stormy blue eyes, that caused butterflies to swarm your stomach. Now it was an empty pit, with a chest to match.

A/N: one of my favourite moments was Buck dancing with Meatball 😍

[stupidlittlespirit]

I’m literally the same anon, oh god I really am a dog but you brought up something that caused a little thought tidal wave in me and now I want to rant about it --

Ford is SO interesting in the way he works as a person. Like he has SUCH an ego, can be really self-centered and have such a high, grandiose view of himself to the point of assholery— but he also suffers harshly from insecurity and hungers for others’ admiration and praise so badly. He’s so capable of being the type to kneel and serve(example: bill. I don’t mention this in a shippy way either I don’t ship billford lol but boy did Ford worship that lame ass triangle.) despite regarding himself so highly in some ways all because he wants to prove his worth and usefulness TERRIBLY. It’s such an interesting juxtaposition to me, especially when you apply it in the. . . scenarios we’re talking about sksdkkss. I need to fuck him from a scientific standpoint and also just because I want to. Seriously.

Also— THANK YOU. Ford WOULD collapse to the floor over one “good boy” thank you for being so correct about Stanford Pines here’s my kidney. I went to praise kink island and everyone knew about Ford I swear LMFAOOOO. He has one of OTHERWORLDLY proportions like that poor old man just wants to be told he’s good.

You guys are really giving me soapbox after soapbox to get on and you're gonna regret it because I'm a real talker when you get me going....

This is going to apply pretty generally to my view of Ford's romantic character.

All of the good stuff below the cut as always!

Ford is a walking talking paradoxical diamond of a character.

He thinks he's the best because other people have told him as such and though he does know that he's intelligent, he also doubts himself in secret and he knows he's vulnerable for that, and he hates it.

He's deeply, deeply emotional and very flawed, and I don't think that when it comes to those emotions he really is very smart at all. In fact, I think he's blunt to his (and other's) motions a lot of the time.

I don't think that Ford believes genuine, soft love serves a purpose for him. Both because he tells himself he's above it but mostly because he doesn't think he deserves it. He's coping when he thinks he's above it, imo.

He's too deeply flawed, his baggage is too great, he's traumatised by something people other than his family would have no idea how to approach. Nobody reaches his level of intelligence/understanding, and the last person who did (Bill) destroyed him. He's really fucked up by everything that's happened to him, I imagine.

He won't let someone in close after everything that happened with Bill and his family, and his idea of what love is is going to be incredibly skewed because the only love he's ever received has been because people want something from him or to use him.

Plus, who would want to be humiliated again? Anyone who involved themselves with him would only ever want to humiliate him, right?

To love is to be vulnerable and to open yourself up, and that hurts.

Ford would refuse to accept that he wants to submit and lose control over his feelings to begin with. He'd fight and fight and fight until he realised he was safe with whoever had him in their hands, and then he'd just lose it. He'd break and give himself over completely.

Telling him he's good because he's done so well or because he's just a good, sweet person would be a LOT to handle but he'd love it.

That's not to say that stroking his ego over his intelligence wouldn't do anything for him too; it definitely would. He'd find it fun and he likes being able to dominate in the areas he's comfortable in and to feel special, so to begin with I think he'd be very happy to keep being praised for his intelligence and absorb the admiration/worship from someone....

That is, up until those vulnerable emotions catch up with him and he starts thinking about how.... Maybe it would be nice if someone loved me for me, and not for my usefulness or what I offer.

It also is going to depend on the mood he's in; is he feeling insecure and in need of validation about his intelligence/achievements? Or is he in need of some tlc and understanding on a deeper, more human level?

He doesn't have to be one or the other. He's both at once and for someone who isn't good at emotions, that's got to be absolute torture. He's just a very mixed up guy who never really got the chance to explore himself emotionally beyond Stan's help.

Anyway I love him more than life itself and Ford if you're reading this I would treat you so good just give me one chance I promise-

[moni-logues]

The First Cut

Pairing: Bangchan x reader (she/her)

Genre: strangers to not quite lovers lol, single parent! reader, hairdresser!Chan

Word count: 2.1k

Summary: Your son needs a haircut and has hated every hairdresser he's ever met. Until he meets Chris. You grow a soft spot for him, too.

Content: literally none to warn for. this shit is as SFW as it gets lmao I use 'Chris' for Chan throughout.

* * *

To say you were nervous would be an understatement. You had to remind yourself, again and again, to relax your grip on your tiny boy’s shoulders; you didn’t want him to feel your stress. You knew he was stressed enough already. You both were. 

The last time you had attempted this left you both in tears, but your friend had sworn up and down that Chris would be different. That he would work some kind of magic on your son so that, not only would his hair be cut, but he would not be traumatised by the experience.  

Or re-traumatised. 

And you wouldn’t be either. 

“Hi, Lucas? My name is Chris!” 

For some reason, you had expected him to be the older guy you had seen walking in and out from the back room—something about years of experience and wisdom that made you assume it would be age that gave him his skills—but this Chris was young, with a bright smile and dimpled cheeks. He sank to a squat in front of your son and held out his hand.  

Lucas clung tighter to his Transformers toy. Chris didn’t seem to mind. He simply nodded, still smiling, and then directed his eyes at you.  

Something unlocked. Loosened. It was certainly a friendly face. A trustworthy face. You took a deep breath and decided to believe that this could work. You realised that he had spoken to your son first, not to you. That he hadn’t, in fact, spoken to you at all. The other hairdressers and barbers you’d been to had barely acknowledged Lucas at all.  

Maybe this would be different. 

“Alright, Lucas, I’m going to cut your hair today, mate! Does that sound good?” 

Lucas looked back at you with eyes, saucer-wide. You gave him an encouraging nod and he turned back, but didn’t answer. 

“If you can follow me to this chair here,” Chris continued, unperturbed, spinning a chair around from a mirror for Lucas to sit in, “then we can talk about what we want to do.” 

Lucas climbed carefully into the seat. So far, so good. But they’d got this far last time. 

“Ok, first thing, buddy: do you want a drink?” 

Lucas shook his head. 

“What about your mum? Does she want a drink?” 

It took you a second to realise he was asking you and you similarly declined. You hovered, anxiously, near Lucas’s elbow, trying to keep your stress from radiating outwards. Trying and failing.  

“Wow, your mum looks pretty nervous, huh?” Chris asked Lucas, as he had directed all his speech so far. “What do you say Mum sits down in this chair?”  

Without breaking eye contact in the mirror, Chris reached out and pulled the chair at the station next to him closer.  

“There, now your mum can sit and relax, just like you—right, buddy?” 

Chris’s chatter was charming; there was something hypnotic in the way he rabbitted on, always smiling, not minding that Lucas stayed mute, that he clung to his hard, plastic toy like a life raft.  

You had told him on the phone that Lucas had never had a haircut before. Not because you hadn’t tried, but because he had a meltdown every time. Because he didn’t want anything near his head, because people kept trying to use clippers on him and he hated the noise, the feel of the vibrations against his skull. It was a problem anyway but it had become an even bigger one, as each failed attempt made Lucas worse; you hadn’t been able to brush his hair for over a week. He wouldn’t let you.  

It had been over five minutes but Chris still hadn’t touched Lucas’s hair. He had taken a seat on his other side and was flicking through magazines, showing hair models to Lucas, talking about their styles, the cuts, the products. You could see that Lucas felt it, too: Chris’s calming influence; the sense he gave that you were the most important people in the room; his patience, which it didn’t seem like you were trying. You let yourself unclench a little. 

Eventually, Lucas picked a hairstyle. You cringed when you realised just how much hair was going to have to come off to achieve it. Your heart thumped in your chest when Chris shook out a gown and Lucas would have to let go of Optimus Prime to slip his arms through the sleeves. 

“Don’t worry!” Chris chirped. “These arm holes are so big, I bet you can fit ’im right through!” 

He could. Lucas barely had to let one hand leave plastic in order to get the gown on. You braced yourself, tensing again: Chris was reaching for a comb and scissors. You saw Lucas tense, too: saw his watchful eyes follow the instruments in Chris’s hands carefully.  

“Ok, Lucas, like we talked about, this hairstyle is much shorter than your hair, right? So I’m going to have to cut a lot of it off. Is that ok?” 

You started. No one had asked that before. No one had even asked Lucas what he wanted. They’d asked you. How short do you want it? What are you going for? All questions for you, not for him.  

Until now.  

You met Lucas’s gaze in the mirror and gave him a smile—a genuine one, not a forced grimace of faked encouragement. His eyes flicked to Chris’s and he nodded.  

“Perfect.” 

Chris didn’t start by combing Lucas’s hair. You were grateful for that, knowing that it was tangled and knotted and any attempt at smoothing it would’ve hurt, would’ve made Lucas run for the hills (or at least out the door). He picked up a section, held it between his fingers, and chopped.  

“There you go, mate!” he said, dropping the chestnut brown locks onto the surface in front of Lucas. “That’s your first cut! How was that? Was that ok?” 

“Yes,” Lucas replied, keeping his head studiously still, and his voice almost inaudibly quiet.  

“Great! Can I cut some more?” 

“Yes.” 

And so it continued. Chris was careful and considerate and his hands worked softly over Lucas’s bird’s nest of hair. He checked in before he did something new: touched Lucas’s ears to cut behind them, brought out a comb to rake through his newly shortened tresses, brushed over the back of Lucas’s neck to remove the cut hairs.  

You wondered how long it was taking, refusing to look anywhere but at your son’s miraculous face—he was smiling now, too, looking at himself in the mirror with a cheeky, toothy grin. 

“Mama!” he cried, when Chris had finished. “I did it!” 

You choked on a sob and held back your tears as you celebrated with him. He was such a perfect little boy and now he looked like it, too. Smart, clean, soft.  

Chris had him jump up and remove his gown; he brushed more hair from his neck and face, which you were amazed he tolerated. He held his hand up for a fist bump and your mouth gaped when Lucas actually returned it. Then he direct Lucas back to the waiting area with Optimus Prime and a hair magazine and turned to you. 

“Oh my god, thank you,” you said, your words coming out in a rush, catching at the end on tears. “I... I had no idea it could be that easy.” 

You imagined Chris’s cheeks must hurt, the way his smile never left his face.  

“People forget that kids are people too, y’know?” he said with a shrug. “Talk to them like real people and they’ll respond, right? I’m not about forcing anyone to do what they don’t want to, whether you’re 3, 30, or 300.” 

“Get a lot of 300-year-olds in, do you?” 

“Oh yeah, all the time!” 

You laughed, giddy with relief, and looked past him to see Lucas, not playing with Optimus Prime, but looking at himself in the mirror, brushing his hand over his hair.  

“Seriously,” you began, turning back to Chris, “I can’t thank you enough. I thought I’d never find anyone who could do it and I knew I couldn’t do it myself.” 

“Yeah, no problem! Any time!” 

You tried to tip him 100% and he refused. You tried to tip 75% and he refused. He somehow negotiated you down to almost nothing but the promise that you would return.  

* 

And return you did. More frequently, to start with, to get Lucas over the fear of it, to get him used to the hairdryer and having his hair washed at the sink. Then, less often, but probably more often than strictly necessary, because you couldn’t stay away.  

It wasn’t just that he looked like that (though he absolutely did), it was everything else about him, too. Silly jokes, crinkly smile, the way you felt as though you’d trust him completely, with anything—with the most important person in your life, your son. He started talking to you more, too much, if you asked Lucas, who frequently grew bored waiting for your conversations to finish after his haircut.  

You hadn’t been doing the dating thing since your split with Lucas’s dad. Told yourself you didn’t have the time, which wasn’t untrue, but it wasn’t the whole truth either.  

You hadn’t wanted to attempt it. You were a parent; you had baggage, that most dread of all things. Lucas wasn’t baggage to you, but you knew men would see him that way and you weren’t prepared to face that.  

Sometimes you felt like Chris was happier to see Lucas than to see you. Then he would turn around and blast you with his blazing grin and you’d think, maybe not, but he certainly didn’t see him as a burden, as an obstacle. As anything less than the little guy that he was.  

You wanted him to ask. You didn’t want to risk it, not only the rejection but the loss of Lucas’s hairdresser, the loss of one of his favourite humans, which Chris had become. So he had to ask you. You wondered if he ever would, if he even wanted to.  

 

“Y’know, I’ve wanted to get my hands on you for a long time,” Chris said, fingers deep in your hair. 

“Oh?” you asked with a nervous laugh, eyes flying open to see only the salon’s ceiling while Chris grabbed the showerhead to rinse shampoo from your hair. 

“Yeah, you’ve got beautiful hair!” 

“Beautiful hair...” you replied, musing. “So beautiful that you desperately wanted to change it?” 

Chris chuckled. 

“Who said anything about desperate?” 

You imagined that he winked. You couldn’t see him so would never know for sure, but you could see it in your mind’s eye. Then could hear the little shy chuckle that always accompanied any line that even bordered on flirtatious.  

“I did,” you replied, all the bolder for not being able to see him.  

He answered with a little hum as he wrung out the ends of your hair with a towel.  

* 

“You do have beautiful hair, y’know,” Chris repeated, sitting behind you on a stool, cutting off all your dead, split ends. “Just needed a bit of TLC.” 

You scoffed before you could stop yourself. 

“Yeah, the rest of me could do with a bit of that, too.” 

Couldn’t stop yourself saying that, either. 

“Yeah, I get that.” 

“Yeah, I’m looking pretty haggard these days, but I was cute once, I think.” 

Chris sat up straight, scissors poised in his fingers but no longer cutting. 

“That’s not what I meant at all.” 

His eyes met yours and, of course, you were the first to look away, couldn’t face seeing yourself as he might see you—as you wanted him to, as you didn’t want him to, as you ‘really’ were (whatever that was)? No one had looked at you like that, not for a long time. 

The moment passed and Chris carried on with your cut. By the time he had finished, you felt like a new woman. Looked a bit like one, too.  

“Wow,” you breathed, running your fingers through hair—able to run your fingers through it for the first time in months—feeling how soft and silky it was, seeing it shine under the horrid, fluorescent lights of the salon.  

“See? Beautiful.” 

You felt sure he felt it. He had to, didn’t he? It wasn’t just you?  

Your butterflies swarmed as you stood and walked with Chris to the reception desk.  

“You’re coming in with Lucas next week, right?” he asked, flicking through the diary. 

“Yep. How much do I owe you for this one?” 

Chris lifted his head and grinned, something glinting in his eye. 

“One dinner.”  

[alwaysthefool]

Minds (fake dating Chuuya)

Warnings: Toxic ex mention, abusive family situation, reader is rich-ish (ik ik, just pretend), mafia activities mention, public humiliation but in a traumatising way okay not a spicy way, based on true events so reactions are anxious and personal-ish, weird grammar, cringed when writing this I’m ngl lol

Tags: Long, Fluff, dramatic, kinda angst to fluff, comfort, slow burn

-

The club you were in was mostly used by the Port Mafia for entertaining rich people’s voyeurism, certain business dealings, and getting high off drugs or abilities most would never even hear of. One could only enter with an invitation but your reputation preceded you, and even the bouncers knew to let you through, even past the VIP section as they whispered something into their mics.

The environment was stifling and disgusting, with people having public threesomes on sofas despite there being several rooms, the lights flashing too fast, and music that gave you a headache. How people could tolerate being there was beyond you, but the freedom they enjoyed was something you craved. You took a deep breath and tried to look for the executive, cringing when you’d spot someone’s ‘regions’ on accident, hoping his bright ginger hair would make the ordeal faster, sticking out like an angel. Finally, after some traumatising sights, you saw him in a booth drinking alone, talking to somebody in his earpiece. As you approached him, the music faded and you could hear what he was saying “…didn’t know about that.”

He met your eyes when you stood right in front of him, arms crossed with an unimpressed expression. “Right. Found them.” He took off his earpiece, and smiled at you.

“This is a rare sight.” He smiled as you sat down across him. Surprisingly, he had a good taste in whiskey, and judging from the bottle, he was completely sober too, which was a relief considering your plan.

“I have a proposition.” You placed the contract on the table, his gloved hands giving it a look, laughing almost immediately.

“Someone put you up to this as a prank?”

You sighed. You were prepared for this as someone from a rich family asking to get in a fake dating situation with a criminal. You spent weeks researching who to choose, terms and boundaries, and how it could be turned into a fair deal for you both. You met his eyes that bore into yours as he took the first sip of his whiskey. “You need my reputation, and I need your protection.” You spoke, both of you not breaking eye contact.

“Hm.” He finally looked away as he put down the glass, looking back at you almost immediately. “Is reputation all I’ll get out of this?”

You or your family didn’t have nearly as much money as he did, but were well known and respected in both the underworld and overworld as a dying but established elite business that sold handmade cigars. Unfortunately for you, the falling stocks meant you had to get married to your now ex, a horrible human with whom you’d spent every waking moment wishing to die. Any refusal would mean getting kidnapped and forced through their contacts at the port, as your grandfather was good friends with the previous boss. But what better way to avoid that possibility than by dating the very executive of that mafia?

“You get access to all my connections.” You tried not letting your desperation show, looking away from his eyes. “And um, if you’d like, you can get my shares at the company.”

Chuuya laughed at that. “Well, it’s a fine deal.” He added after some thought. “And I do need a date to the investor’s event.”

Investor’s event… the one he will be at.

You didn’t know when Chuuya gestured to the waiter, but a glass was put in front of you, Chuuya pouring in that expensive whiskey. You weren’t in the mood to drink, but he toasted to the agreement, signing the papers you handed to him. “Uh, sure.” You shut your eyes tight and took a sip, wincing at how strong it was. Chuuya let out a chuckle. You smiled back. Maybe this agreement wouldn’t be as intolerable as you thought it would be.

The next day, you met him at a high end restaurant filled with both mafia and your family’s business associates, trying to ‘officially’ announce your relationship. Eyes fell on you, fingers typing away on keyboards, as you hugged Chuuya, taking a seat next to him. You knew there’d be more perceptive eyes so Chuuya’s hand played with yours while talking, smile and eye contact unwavering.

“Well, ‘babe’, what should we order?” He spoke a little louder to make sure people heard. You drowned out their whispers with your own voice “Whatever you decide.”

Your acting was abhorrent compared to his, which could’ve won him an academy award in his debut film. You gulped, a little stressed people would figure out, glancing away, until he held your hand tight, making you look back at him. “Relax.” He whispered. “Don’t look at them, look at me.”

You nodded, as the waiter, most likely another informant came to take your order. “Your best wine, and… is the steak good with you, love?”

“I’ll just have the Greek salad.” Both your bank account and your nerves wouldn’t allow you to have a steak, as the stress reflected in your body.

“Doll, a salad?” Chuuya frowned. He seemed genuinely concerned, probably seeing the pallor in your face.

“I’m not well.” You faked a weak voice. “Probably because of last night…”

Chuuya seemed to have choked on air, coughing. The waiter too, cleared his throat, excusing himself and hurrying back a little too fast.

“You think they’re gossiping about that in the kitchen?” You joked, taking a sip of water. You knew Chuuya definitely didn’t expect that, as he laughed into his fist. “You’re really something, huh?”

After a while, however, Chuuya’s concern returned. “Why didn’t you order something nice? You know it’s on me, right?”

“I’ll return you the money when I get home.”

The waiter returned with the wine, pouring it as Chuuya kept his eyes on you, his chin resting on his hand supported by his leaning elbow. You both thanked the waiter and it did not go unnoticed by him how Chuuya simply couldn’t take his eyes off of you. He’s one hell of an actor, you thought as his eyes finally darted when the waiter left.

“When we get home.” He corrected you. “And don’t you undermine my chivalry with that. All meals and drinks are on me. Always.”

‘Always’ You hoped Chuuya couldn’t see the red creeping up on your face as you tried covering up by downing the wine glass whole, resisting the urge to throw up there and then.

Before Chuuya could say anything, you started to ‘panic-change the topic’ again. “Chivalry? Could you get any more cheesier?” You didn’t look at him as you realised your attempt at humour came out as a bit rude, refilling the wine glass again. But being as cool as he was, he joked it off “Absolutely, sugar. You just haven’t given me the chance yet.”

You shut your eyes downing the glass again, trying to ignore your tugging heart and worsening nerves. No, you told yourself you could not flirt with the guy you were fake dating. This was a strictly professional relationship.

Chuuya laughed again, seeming to enjoy the sight of you drinking one of the most expensive wines in the city like it was water. You hoped he didn’t realise how nervous he made you, but seeing how he toned down the flirting, he probably did. Having feelings, how embarrassing…

The rest of the day went perfect, as he drove you to your hotel, staying till you walked in, texting if you were alright from all the drinking and you realised he hadn’t taken a sip of the wine he ordered. You decided against your better judgment, strings on your heart pulling your fingers to text him.

‘Just realised you didn’t drink’

His text back came almost immediately.

‘Wanted to drive responsibly lol’

You smiled, laying down on your stomach, feet kicking in the air, as you propped yourself up on your elbows, already engrossed in the conversation.

‘Is texting and driving responsible?’

This time, his reply took a little longer.

‘Alright, you got me. I just wanted to drive you.’

Your face was red, from texts alone. Why was he like that? You knew better than to trust sweet words, and yet you couldn’t help enjoying that taste.

‘If you keep talking this way, I’ll think you’re really falling for me.’

You knew you were going too far, but you couldn’t help it. Your hands held more confidence than your lips ever did. Chuuya left your message on read and you couldn’t blame him. How was one supposed to reply to that anyway?

The next time you’d meet would be at the investor’s meet the day after, and Chuuya told you you two didn’t have to go since your ex would be there, but you knew him being there meant you had to go. You’d show them you were with Chuuya, and everyone would leave you alone. The more you thought about it, the more you realised Chuuya did not have as much to gain from it as you did, so you vowed to yourself to reimburse him somehow, someday, but for now you had to shamelessly take his help.

Besides, the arrangement would be over after that anyway, and you wouldn’t speak to one another, a fact that made your heart sink but you’d move on as usual, just another relation to lose.

You put on your most expensive clothes, your best perfume, and as you put on your stainless shoes, you heard a knock on your hotel door. “Come in!”

Chuuya walked in with a bouquet, dressed in an Italian leather coat, and a custom tailored suit from some French brand you couldn’t even pronounce the name of. He set the bouquet down, and kneeled in front of you, helping you put on your shoes. “You look gorgeous, doll face.”

“You look like my 8th grade mafia fantasies.”

Chuuya chuckled, still on his knees in front of you. “You’re getting better at fake dating talk.”

“Learned from the best.” You smiled, getting up and offering Chuuya a hand, which he took graciously, but his hand creeped up to take off your jacket. You looked at him confused and red from the feeling of his gentle arms pulling at you. “Oh you know, so I can give you my jacket later on.”

You nodded with an ‘oh’, he was truly very good at things like that. “Do you watch a lot of rom coms?” You asked, as you two walked to his car.

“Nah, just have a lot of experience.”

“With real dating, or fake dating?”

“With watching people get fooled.”

That was something you had experience with too, the world of business and crime being full of tricks and deceit. “Same. I’ve never seen real love. Everything’s just so transactional.”

Chuuya opened the door for you, closing it for you too after you sat, your eyes unable to leave him as he walked over to the driver seat.

“This may be ironic, but,” He looked over at you. “You’re the most sincere person I’ve met lately.”

You smiled back at him, “Yeah, you too.”

The rest of the ride was silent but tense, worries about your family and ex overcoming you. Chuuya, the master of making your heart want to explode, made things even worse by placing his hand on your thigh as an effort to calm you down. You felt like you were holding your breath, relief held back until his hand slithered back to the steering wheel, when you finally reached the hall, the whole building lit up, carpet on the path inside, security guards and valets busy in their work. The sort of environment you hated and associated with forced silence and stifled words that brought shame to your family.

Chuuya had already opened your door, teasing you with his sweet words as you zoned out. “You not only look like a dream, but act like you’re in one too.”

You apologised, grabbing his hand a little tighter than you should have and walking out as he handed over his keys to the valet. Chuuya didn’t seem to mind your tight grip, stroking your hand with his thumb, whispering his usual sweet words, that of course made your nerves worse. Him holding you closer and tighter as you walked in the hall of polished faces, fancy scents, and minds so different from yours.

Everything felt wrong. Everything was wrong, the feeling something bad was about to happen creeping all over you. Once you two were sure your ex hadn’t arrived, Chuuya left you in a relatively quiet corner to get you a drink to calm your nerves.

And as if waiting for it, akin to snakes, they chose to attack when you had no one beside you.

“There you are!” Your ex smiled at you, immediately grabbing your arm. Of course this was happening.

“Go away. I’m with Chuuya now.”

“Of course you’re not.” He replied back. “Why would someone like him date someone like you?”

Stop.

But he continued. “I mean, have you looked at your face?” You did not want to cry but tears fell out of your eyes almost immediately, begging him to stop. “I mean, you’re not even enough for me, let alone-“

“They are mountains above you.” That hand was pushed off your arm, Chuuya’s hand holding your again, fingers intertwined. The drinks he brought for you and him were spilled on the floor, and soon, so was your ex, bleeding from his head.

The good side of you wanted to call the ambulance as guests scrambled away, someone even screaming, making you laugh a little. “Thanks, man.” You smiled through the stream of tears that stopped as abruptly as it started.

Chuuya wiped the remnants of them off your cheek with his gloved hand. “You wanna get out of this mess?”

“It’s fine.” You smiled, taking in a deep breath. It hurt, and your ex was right, you weren’t enough for anyone, let alone someone like Chuuya, but you were worthy of friendship and the kindness Chuuya showed you. “I’ll find my way out.”

Chuuya looked at you, his head tilted slightly to get a better look at you. “And can’t that way be with me?”

You frowned, wishing he wouldn’t speak those sweet words. “We don’t have to pretend anym-“

“But I stopped pretending a long time ago.” Chuuya took off his hat, setting it near his chest, bringing your hand that he had interlocked with his own close to his lips. Looking back at his actions, when he texted you sweetly, comforted you, bought you a bouquet, he really meant it.

“But you gain nothing from it…” You muttered, realising the hall was almost clear. Chuuya took you away from the stench of blood mixed with wine, and to the sofa in the center of the room.

“Does every relation need to be about gain or lose? I just like you.”

“I like you too.” You replied almost too quick, before your thoughts could stop you. You didn’t care at that moment if it was part of some plot, and you’d be betrayed somehow, but focused on everything he did for you. Whatever the case, Chuuya defended your self respect, saved you from pain and humiliation, and that was all that mattered. Both Chuuya and you loved like stray dogs, loyal to whoever showed you any kindness and love, persistent yet proud and unwilling to sacrifice your pride.

“Then how about we go to my place?” Chuuya offered.

“Yeah. I’d like that very much”

——x——

Finished at 2am T-T

[sonik-kun]

Saw this post that tried to imply that if WWX had been around to help raise JL, he'd be JL's favourite uncle, and I just had to roll my eyes to the sky. Antis really can't cope with the fact that JC is JL's favourite in the canon, that they have to make WWX into some perfect Mary sue who is everyone's favourite. Such a cope, lol.

JL is literally a carbon copy of JC. He inherited his grumpy, tsundere attitude (and his father's brattiness!). Whilst he will love WWX, I can also see him growing exasperated with him at times, just like JC used to whenever WWX would tease him! JC and JL will be able to relate to the fact that they're always on the butt end of WWX'S shenanigans! Their reactions would be the same, and WWX would thrive on that!

Not only that, JL is literally just JC but under better circumstances. He wasn't traumatised by war, nor has he ever had to make the same sort of decisions JC did at an early age. I know he too was made SL young and had the trauma of losing both his parents and discovering that his beloved uncle, JGY, was the huge mastermind behind everything and tried to kill him. But at least he had JC and WWX's guidance in the end. They both won't let him make the same mistakes they did.

Which brings me to my next point that had there been no sunshot campaign, no core loss, no DC, JC would have simply turned out a lot like JL. A grumpy SL with a cold exterior and a warm interior. It was trauma that brought out those "ugly" traits antis like to criticise JC for. Remember, before the war, he was just a normal kid. A kid suffering emotional abuse from his parents.. but still.. a normal kid. I have no reason to believe he would have turned into this monster, antis love to paint him as being. I feel like JL is meant to be JC's parallel. How he would have turned out had the circumstances been better. The fact that he turned out to be a good kid under JC's care is a testament to that.

Stop trying to take their relationship away from them just to elevate WWX. JiuJiu and JL will always be eachothers favourites for only they can understand each other, and that's fine! It won't make WWX any less of a good character, I promise.

[lemon-natalia]

Harrow the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 52

Augustine & Mercy are having a very intense convo about how they just murdered GOD and are dooming themselves, and Gideon 1.0, Gideon 2: Electric Boogaloo, and Ianthe are just … standing there

oh shit and Dominicus is gonna die and become a black hole? i mean given there’s a whole other book not sure where this is gonna go, maybe he was lying to everyone about that as well?

when Ianthe of all people is the one advocating to try and save people out of the goodness of her heart, you know you’re fucked

‘Well, Augustine, there’s something you should know’ could someone please say something in this series that isn’t ridiculously cryptic. also i totally forgot this guy was wearing Gid’s sunglasses the whole time lol

OH WAIT THE BITCH IS BACK. i knew it was too good to be true 

also YIKES poor Mercy, she was not my favourite character but god she did not deserve that

also ah. hm. the above comment did not age well

oh this guys whole persona has just shifted. He’s still got that kinda irreverent jokiness & affability but he’s also evidently very pissed off, a lot less ‘lets have tea’ and more ‘do what i say or get fucked’

'then he looked at us, gave a crooked half smile’ ohhhh he has the same. fucking. crooked smile. that Gideon has in the BARI-star dream what the fuck

and he WAS the one who ordered Gideon-Part-1 to kill Harrow, for fucks sake. at least Harrow had Ortus be nice to her briefly cuz she’s three for three on her other parental figures trying to kill her at some point 

Gideon found out her bio dad is GOD, saw him die, saw him come back to live naked, and now found out he tried to kill her (kinda maybe its complicated) girlfriend. thats just ... so many different levels of traumatising

also i keep forgetting Gideon is literally looking like Harrow for all of this

GIDEON 1.0 ISN’T GIDEON, ITS PYRRHA DVE HIS CAV?!?!? yknow what so much else is going on rn i barely have the capacity to process that

and she was also sleeping with Commander Wake, was everyone just fucking eachother????? and i thought the love quadrangle in the last book was complicated. i’m guessing she shot Wake to stop her from potentially revealing the whole ‘i’m actually alive’ thing to the Emperor then?

also wow there’s a lot of consent issues being raised in the last couple chapters and this one, not just with dios apate major, but also like … you’re having sex with someone while possessing someone else’s body without their knowledge, but also also its the only body you have because they (presumably) killed you to absorb your soul. like what.

the drama and vast existential horror of this scene is only mildly undercut by the fact that the Emperor is having this crazy fight wearing only what is essentially an opalescent bathrobe

also why are there fucking TEETH at the bottom of the River? and Tongues?? and it thinks he’s a Resurrection Beast? i feel like there’s so much more to the River that we haven’t uncovered yet

and Augustine wasn’t wrong with what he said wayy before, the Emperor really did grant him more leniency than he did Mercy, at least he gave him a chance before murdering him

also cmon Ianthe you’re really gonna save that guy, really?

'Hands pressed. We died’ AGAIN?? i mean at least this time there’s a chance for her to come back given she’s done it once before?? also i do not know what to make of her seeing Alecto before she dies at all

[daniclaytcn]

I have been telling my friends that season 7 is a bridge. Also, that Tim had a plan and as he wasn’t in the last 2, the story isn’t as he planned so he spent the whole season taking the characters there. Meaning healing from last trauma to add new traumas and building the foundations for the next season, foundations he thought were going to be build.

For example:

- Chim and Maddie fostering Mara is the bridge to Maddie and Chim having another child, maybe adopting this time.

- Hen and Karen will adopt Mara, and I’m not quite sure about the next step because I’m thinking about Captain Hen but I don’t think it’ll happen in the next season.

- Bi Buck we know what bridge that is even if some people don’t want to accept it.

- Eddie, being bad written, is the bridge to prioritising and putting himself first for them establishing boundaries with his parents. (Kind of Buck did). Also, to discover himself and what he really wants. Healing.

- Bobby to realise he’s a hero and that his works wasn’t over, especially now that Gerrard is back.

- Athena hasn’t been a proper cop this season and both times (Harry incident and whatever the fuck was the Amir thing) she has used her power so I think something will happen there that’ll make her stop and think.

The reason why the wasn’t room for development is because for some stories, it was the end (Chim being traumatised in his wedding by Doug) and for other stories it was the beginning (the whole episode 7x10)

i'm sorry, i don't want to sound like i'm being dismissive of your opinion because you're entitled to it, but i don't agree with any of this. to start with, it's too bad that tim couldn't tell the story he wanted to after s4, but that's not an excuse for him to come back two seasons later, throw a temper tantrum and ignore everything that's happened since that isn't convenient for him. lol. as for the rest, let's break it down:

this sets up for maddie and chim having another child...except we don't actually KNOW how THEY feel about it. they've never talked about having more kids, let alone fostering. we never saw any of this from their POV, we were just up and told that they wanted to do it for henren. which is a beautiful thing for them to do, but we don't know what they feel about it, if they've considered the logistics of having a second child, about jee having a sibling—none of it!

my issue with henren this season was that they recycled the plot of them having trouble with expanding their family for, what, the...third time? it's so tired and feels like misery porn at this point (and let's not even get into the uncomfortable racial elements around the way mara was written in 7x05).

something as monumental as the bi!buck arc should have been explored better. sorry. aside from his conversation with maddie, we barely got to see buck do any kind of serious self-reflection about this major part of his identity and his relationship with tommy, has, well. it's just been written in a very strange and off-putting way post 7x05. sorry to say.

whatever happened with eddie is really not the way to get him to prioritize himself! think about it. for the first time he prioritized his own grief in trying to get catharsis with kim. and it backfired on him spectacularly. he hurt his kid. he lost christopher. i don't think he's ever gonna recover from this guilt. if anything, what's happened will only reinforce his belief that he should never prioritize himself, ever. the thing with kim didn't lead to any kind of healing, it made everything a million times worse. he was quite literally punished by the narrative for his grief and it's quite sickening. and given how things were handled this season i highly doubt it will be treated with any kind of nuance or care in the next.

this has not been the first time athena has abused her power—only the most egregious instance of it—and it won't be the last. if abusing her power in s1 and harassing a teenage girl then didn't get her to stop and think, i don't think this will. sorry.

my entire point, is that most of the things you've mentioned here was incredibly last minute. madney fostering mara. the eddie/kim plotline. eddie's conflict with chris. the bobby and amir plotline. everything in 7x10 felt like an afterthought. why is it that bobby's life was in serious danger and yet we barely saw anything of him? why didn't we get to see more the firefam being worried over him and holding vigil? how is it that eddie and chris didn't even have a single conversation before chris went away to a different state?

you don't use all ten episodes of a season just to set up new plot points for the rest without developing or concluding the stuff already going on in a meaningful manner that makes sense. sorry.

[ryuichirou]

Dark headcanons feat. Idia

Anonymous asked:

Got any more super dark head canons for our favorite hikikomori? I’m a glutton for punishment, I know.🫠

Anonymous asked:

being normal is overrated. fuck it gimme your most messed up idia hcs nsfw and sfw

Ask and you shall receive, dear Anons, even if it happens several months later 😭

I want to thank you once again for your patience; one of the reasons why it took me this long was that I always get excited when we receive asks about darker scenarios. I got so excited that, I think, some of the hcs are kind of like short stories lol even though I didn’t want to make them too long… well, anyways.

So, dark and messed up hcs! Obviously Idia-centric; a lot of it is Mob/Idia. Starting on a lighter note, but then it gets more messed up.

(I’m not talking about the Tweels and Idia this time (I know there are asks about them too!), they’ll get another post <3 Let’s hope that I’ll finish it soon)

Sometimes he tortures himself by having internet arguments lol He doesn’t feel good when he argues with randos, even though it’s funny sometimes, but sometimes he continues to do it fully knowing that the conversation is completely useless. A couple of times he connected to his opponent’s webcam log and found footage of them masturbating. He could’ve easily used it to end the argument quickly, but for some reason no matter how heated he gets, he doesn’t do it. He thinks about it though.

Idia has seen every single cursed thing on the internet. Things that would make some people traumatised, things that are way too much even for Idia. If cursed things on the internet were an iceberg meme, to Idia Blue Waffle and One Guy One Jar would be the most basic tier. Something that everyone knows and isn’t as shocking. Sometimes he wonders how Azul-shi or Crimson Muscle would react to some of the stuff he’s used to seeing.

Same goes with porn, to be honest. Idia could go months without masturbating or watching porn, but he isn’t sure if it’s because of his low sex drive or because of how bored he is with porn. Regular porn doesn’t do it for him at all, with kinks he either gets into them or suddenly loses interest, his favourite hentai tropes are pretty messed up. He ended up watching some banned illegal stuff a couple of times just to see if he’d feel anything. The next day he was back to his favourite hentai tropes though.

Idia got groped during his entrance ceremony. He has no idea why he was picked out of every single person there, but he thinks it’s because of his hair: everyone’s silhouette is the same in the ceremonial robe, but his hair makes him stand out. Even though his butt is small… When it happened, Idia got so shocked that he just stood there still, allowing them to touch him. He was upset, but at the same time remembered all the hentai and doujins that started this way, and it resulted in him feeling a weird mix of deep disgust and arousal. He had no idea if anyone noticed him getting molested, and if anyone saw that he had a boner, but he sure felt like every single person was looking at him and judging him. He got traumatised by that, but the situation was so bizarre to him that he came without touching himself after returning to his room as quickly as possible.

Despite being shy and antisocial, Idia is very cocky, and he was especially cocky when he was a freshman. Living with 3 other people was a huge stress for him, and as we talk about living with them 24/7, his natural response to stress was to start talking shit. He felt intimidated by everything and everyone back then, and at the same time felt super annoyed because he was a genius who was much more skilled and smart than most of his senpai, and definitely smarter than the goons that he had to share a room with. Long story short, his roommates thought he was weird and bullied him every time Ortho wasn’t around for some reason (i.e. when he was charging): stole his clothes and pillows, threw stuff at him, talked shit about him, not even trying to be quiet about it. One time they dogpiled him on his own bed and made him pee himself. The other time they wrote swear words all over his body, talking about how all this were the things that people called him when he wasn’t listening. Idia got his revenge after that (yay doxing), but he is a bit scared of these guys to this day.

Idia’s second year wasn’t much better because he still had to share a room with a guy. And if the first bunch were bullies that Ortho really didn’t like (he tried to protect Idia, but couldn’t do it all the time), his roommate during his second year was more sneaky. He had good relationship with Ortho, so Ortho didn’t mind leaving these two alone in the room. He even asked Idia to try and befriend the guy because he really thought Idia needed friends. Idia hated the guy though because not only did he treat him just as badly as the previous group, he also constantly threatened that he would complain about Ortho being dangerous, just to make Idia anxious to lose his knight in shining armor. This got so bad that he made Idia cry like a baby one time because the guy convinced him that he would make everything to take Ortho away from him. And Idia isn’t an idiot; he knew that this wasn’t as simple, but something about the way the guy said it made him break down and cry pathetically.

Idia pretty much lived in fear for an entire year, and somewhere around the middle of the first semester the guy started molesting him. Ortho didn’t intervene because Idia tried his best to hide it from him, even when the guy started demanding Idia to suck him off and started sticking fingers up Idia’s ass, mostly to humiliate him. This is why Idia thought that he was either a masochist or just unstable, because while he absolutely hated it, he felt like he also didn’t mind it enough. The guy got kicked out of NRC before he actually raped (=put his penis into Idia) him, and while Idia was super happy, he also felt disappointed. As if Idia deserved bad things to happen to him… or was he actually into this dynamic and wanted to feel punished and used by someone who treats him like shit? He was never into butt stuff before, but he felt himself aching for a dick that he sucked for months while the guy was humiliating him.

Sometimes Idia fantasises about getting violated by other NRC students. It’s not like he looks at them and sighs dreamily, more of a “what if/how would he do this” type of way. He thinks it’s just his morbid curiosity, and even thinks that it’s very self-centered of him to think that Azul or Rook or Sebek or Lilia or Cater or anyone else would want to rape him, but… what if? He has pretty solid scenarios in his head for some of them, it’s surprisingly easy to come up with them based on their interactions…

Idia kind of likes it when his entire head is being hidden during sex. Well, likes the idea of it. Maybe it’s due to the fact that it keeps him anonymous, but the idea of a bag on his head or a hole-in-the-wall thing kind of tickles him. He had a bunch of dreams about getting stuck in a hole in the wall and then being used as a fuck toy. These dreams always end with someone somehow recognising him and calling him “Idia?” though, so Idia wakes up covered in sweat.

One time Idia almost became one of those people who die due to strangling themselves during masturbation. And he isn’t even into this type of stuff, he just wanted to try to see if it would work or not. He didn’t pull his pants down or anything, he tried to do it through clothes, so he was fucking lucky that Ortho woke up just in time to see him passed out with a noose around his neck. Poor Ortho got so worried and obviously came to wrong conclusions, but Idia felt way too embarrassed to confess about the actual reason why he ended up in this situation… it feels horrible knowing that he made Ortho so worried and upset and heartbroken, but he just couldn’t say that he did it to feel good when he orgasms.

[just-another-author-i-guess]

Hey can I request something with judd birch I don't really have a prompt can you just make something fluffy and cute I need some soft love in my life lol

I literally had a dream about this last night, so here you go lol sorry it’s not like super soft, it’s just school hc’s

Tags: gn! Reader, kinda?, leaning towards fem, mentions of s e x 🫣, and alcohol, Judd’s driving, school should be an actual warning tbh

Summary: the one day a month when Judd show’s up to school.

Author’s note: I skipped my math class to write this,, 🤷🏻‍♀️ yk you gotta think like your characters when you write about them lmfao

Surviving a day in school with Judd

Word count; 1,1K

so, let’s say your boyfriend has one of those rare days where he decides to actually show up to school

He’s so, so tired in the morning

I’m talking slow blinking, yawning and constantly leaning his forehead on stuff to try and catch a quick nap in class or while standing up

He’s also constantly complaining, acts like it’s your fault he has to be there

He will be following you around the entire time too

No one will talk to you willingly the whole day because Judd is just always standing broodingly behind you

You’re getting something from your locker? Judd is standing there, scowling and leaning against the lockers besides yours so no one except you can get to their stuff

You’re talking to your friends? Judd will still just stand there a bit behind you, glaring at your friends or using his whole body weight to lean on you

Even if you’re talking to his friends, he’s not that talkative, he prefers just to let you lead the conversation

He does actually have those, friends I mean, like people he can hang out with if you’re not available, or people who host parties

You’re definitely getting initiated into his friend group as soon as you start dating, they’re all kinda like him anyways so you’d fit right in lol

But omg he’s so clingy at school

He just misses you between classes, yk? ),:

After the first classes, he’ll be more awake

You can’t tell if that’s good or bad tbh

It’s not like he actively goes out of his way to disturb classes or anything, but he’s definitely not an ideal student either

Like, he’s not one of those annoying kids who purposely talk really loudly or throw stuff or whatever

but he will sit with his feet up on his desk if he feels like it, doesn’t respond when he gets called on, will call the teacher a colourful variety of curse words and ends up getting kicked out and send to the office

Maybe just don’t call on him and he won’t insult you? 🤷🏻‍♀️

(He’s also literally the worst partner for assignments ever)

That’s in his own classes at least,, let’s say you share a PE class with him and it will very quickly turn into “hey let’s skip and go fuck in the bathroom”

The days were Judd shows up to school is definitely the days you get in trouble/ and/ or detention

Okay but that’s another thing, the other half of the day he will just show up outside of your classes

Either because he got kicked out of his or he has a break or something, he’ll just stand outside and wait for you to come out so he can drag you somewhere and yk,, get all the horny out of his system

Maury also straight up refuses to deal with Judd’s school, as soon as he enters he’s doing his best to convince Judd to find you and have sex or something instead

Omg,, the many, many, poor people you’ve traumatised in the school bathroom or parking lot

(He will also fuck you in his car in front of the school lmfao)

You usually eat lunch with Leah or your respective group of friends, but when Judd’s there you’ll eat with him

(You probably have to pay for his lunch🧍🏻)

Sometimes, though, he’ll drive you two out to get McDonald’s or something

Leah will sit with you at lunch too, so she can bully Judd for showing up or rant to him about something or whatever

Also if anyone’s bothering her, Judd is the best way for her to get out of talking to them

After lunch, you have a class with Leah so he’s once again left to his own devices

He reluctantly goes to his own class because he doesn’t have anything else to do lol

Unless it’s a teacher that’s really really nice, he gets kicked out again

The man literally spends the entire school day just roaming around because he keeps getting send to the office lmfao

He would probably try to get into the school’s vents as well? He’ll crawl over to where your class is and bother you by throwing paper or something through the vent

You’re just sitting in class, and suddenly a bunch of small paper scraps falls from the ceiling and lands in your hair

You look up, only to see your boyfriend grinning and gesturing with his head for you to leave the room

Leah sees it too and has to do her best not to burst out laughing 🫣

Surprisingly, he shows up to after school detention

Definitely not because you dragged him there and told him it was his fault for getting you roped into it as well—

You two sit in the back, and you try to do your homework while Judd naps

Sometimes you’ll share headphones or Judd will steal some of your notebook paper and draw on it

Judd is super distracting literally by just existing, he’s the loudest quiet person ever if that makes sense

When you’re finally out of school, Judd is by default expecting yet another rendezvous in the back of his van

It’s actually kinda fascinating how much the guy can go in just one day—

But anyways, he’ll drive you home or to his house or wherever you wanna go

Sometimes you come with him to pick up Nick from school

Okay so here’s one of Judd’s secrets

He can actually drive like a normal person 😮

I mean, sure he’s always a bit above the speed limit and a bit too close to hitting ppl walking close to the road, but he almost only drives like a race car driver when Nick’s in the car

Because he knows Nick hates it lol

You would have gotten used to it by now, because you know he isn’t actually gonna hit someone

But Nick doesn’t know that

Driving really, really fast is probably also a way for Judd to destress or wind down after a long, and boring, school day

He’ll pass the fuck out when he gets home from school

Well, he’ll knock back half a Jack daniels and raid the fridge and then pass out

You’re more than welcome to anything in the birches fridge yourself, so if you’re feeling particularly nice pls make him something sustainable

His idea of a proper meal is literally a bag of chips— I’m so stressed

Anyways, congrats. You made it through a whole school day with Judd lol

Don’t expect him to show up again tomorrow, though 🤷🏻‍♀️

I love doing Judd headcannons 🤭🤭

Tags: @dlfvrr , @bxbyyyjocelyn

[bobbydagen24]

someone else on here suggested the idea of a Bro zone story where Branch gets turned back into a little Kid and the Brothers consider the idea of leaving him like that and starting again and I just wanna talk about this idea a little more.

like imagine it as an episode of a Tv show or something yeah I know its probably a bit too heavy and serous but hey its fun to imagine lol.

cause this idea has some sweet emotional potential like for whatever reason Branch is somehow magically turned back into a little kid and he's lost pretty much all of his life memories.

so he's well and truly naïve innocent and carefree again and Despite them eventually figuring out a way to turn him back to normal there's a bit of a divide as to Wether they should.

maybe early on in the episode Branch has a big argument with his Brothers yet again probably due to one of his paranoid or overcautious tendencies annoying them so much finally causing them to call him out on it.

and Branch hits back at him only being this way in part because of them because he had to be to make himself feel safe and have piece of mind since he had no one else and he storms off into the woods.

which is where he gets affected by something that transforms him back into a child with no memories.

I imagine JD would be the first one to suggest the idea of leaving him this way as in a way it'd give him a chance to fix one of his biggest mistakes.

as they could stick around and be there for Branch growing up like they weren't before and he could get a chance at a normal childhood without the Burden of Grandma's death traumatising him throughout his life.

not 100 percent sure about the other's reactions I feel Floyd would be against it at first feeling it isn't their place to make such a life changing choice for him.

but who knows maybe he'd be Tempted after JD guilts him over his broken promise.

maybe Clay would also be against it but Bruce to everyone's surprise actually sides with JD secretly showing a bit of deeper guilt over the whole thing.

being a parent himself and thinking no one should have to grow up that quickly by themselves and thinking of it as if it were one of his children and how he wouldn't want that for them.

so yeah it leads to a nice bit of Drama between the brothers btw I wouldn't have poppy involved in this story as its obvious what she'd choose and I kinda feel like she wouldn't even allow a Debate as far as this is concerned.

given she loves Branch and likely wouldn't even entertain the idea of permanently changing him from the man she's with currently.

anyway in the end of the story obviously the Bros do change him back after tearfully saying a final goodbye to the young innocent Branch who they hadn't seen in decades and who they'll never see again.

with Grown up Branch not having any Memory of anything that happened and the episode ends with maybe something like all the Bros sat around having dinner.

and one of the Bros out of somber curiosity asks Branch if he ever thought about changing the past so things could have been different for him.

but Branch actually kinda surprises them by saying that he has thought about it but he realises that just isn't the way life is meant to work ultimately your experiences do help shape who you are.

and he doesn't think its really helpful to look back on the past at least not anymore given the amount of time he used to spend doing that and he just thinks its better to accept the past and make the best of the present.

making his bros all hug him while sobbing in an over the top way because of how wise their baby bro grew up to be while Branch is just confused as to what is happening 😂😂😂😂

like I said I feel there's some very cute emotional potential with this little story idea.

[ghxst-system]

if u see visibly disabled person drink or smoke [or someone know disabled]

or talk about drink or smoke

MIND YOUR BUSINESS

if abled person allowed, so am i lol

dont need hear "BUT U USE MOBILITY AID"

or "BUT U HAVE CHRONIC ILLNESS"

like yeah im also a PERSON

**ALSO** fun fact. some sources have said nicotine can help alleviate some symptoms of one of my disabilities [and many ppl WITH pots have talked about how helps them]

this doesnt just go smoking nicotine. weed too.

disabled people allowed to do substances just as much as abled people. whether u agree or disagree that ppl in general should do them

[have added TWs for sake of my blog being for pw CDDs and traumatised people]